Trying to Reason With Pollen Season…

(with apologies to the great Jimmy Buffett)

to the tune of Trying to Reason With Hurricane Season:

Trees and grass and bushes
The pollen’s falling thick
I passed out in my Honda,
God, I can’t breathe a lick.
Woke up and tried to focus,
Couldn’t see through the glass of my car,
I knew I could use an antihistamine
So I squeezed out some Optivar.

And now I must confess,
I could use some rest,
I can’t breathe this yellow crap for long.
It’s driving me insane,
Not breathing hurts my brain,
Pollen season just feels all wrong.

There’s something about this season,
Every day after painful day
Crawling out of bed in the morn
And wishing plants would all go away.
Wheezing hard, I was feeling tired
And I knew I couldn’t last long,
So all alone I crawled back home, took an Allegra
And then sat down and ripped off this song.


Well the pollen count is climbin’ now
Fifty points, or there abouts.
There’s yellow dust on everything
And my decongestant’s running out.
It’s time to close the shutters
It’s time to go inside
In a week I’ll still be queasy
And probl’y wishing I could die.


Yes, this season’s just feeling all wrong.

(doesn’t scan particularly well, but hey.)

quote of the day:

“I used to wake up at 4 A.M. and start sneezing, sometimes for five hours. I tried to find out what sort of allergy I had but finally came to the conclusion that it must be an allergy to consciousness.” – James Thurber


One Response to “Trying to Reason With Pollen Season…”

  1. Lowcountry Blogs » Spring Is In the Air and On Our Cars Says:

    […] JJ has written a song with apologies to Jimmy Buffet Trying to Reason With Pollen Season. […]

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